Beautiful Morning

I was up at around 6:30 this morning and realized that waking up on such a day gives me an opportunity to be thankful for everything that I have, enjoying the beauty of what has been created for me to enjoy on a daily basis. I saw the pink speckled clouds influenced by the sun's appearance on the horizon and began to wonder about life. Moments, like that moment this morning, is exactly my meaning in life, so what if people talk about me behind my back, or if other don't understand. My meaning of life is to live in exactly every moment as it is. I once was asked if I had ever stayed up till 2:00 in the morning worried about money, of course I replied "yes" then I was asked if it did me any good??. I realized then, despite my deepest efforts to change the future with my "mind powers" its never going to happen.
I'm so excited for what the future hold for me, and have a hard time sometime living for right now, and find myself want some sort of instant gratification or something to comfort my efforts, and immediate result. I know from experience that allow my thoughts to control my mood can result in me being stuck in my own mind. I view things now from a perspective of, "whats going on and what am I thinking, what situation lead me to think that way?" It helps my thoughts become more rational. Rather the assuming I know whats going on I question myself. That also rings true for everything I do. I have to wonder about my motives, what is my ultimate goal for the actions that I'm about to take, would I want someone to do this to/for me. If I'm not honest open and willing to be honest with myself, I don't have a hope in hell of maintaining sobriety or being honest with the people who I love and who love me the most.