Two Heads Are Better Then One

Even if I don't agree with someones perspective or ideas I am always stronger with more knowledge. If I know something about a certain subject and so does someone else, then together we are smarter. If two people are hung up on arguing with each other, what gets solved?? So it's easier to work towards a solution then focusing on the problem. If I have two people in my life who approach me and say this person didn't hold his weight on the job site, and the other person approaches me and says the same thing only about the other person. Then I have two sides to a story to which there is actually three sides. There is what person one said, what person two said, and then the truth. So whose opinion is valid?? both parties involved have an equal weight and opinion. However if I sat and focused on the problem all I would get is he said and he said. Instead focus on what can we do in the future to resolve our problem. Until I start listening and keeping my mind open to people, I can't better myself. Until I know that there's a problem I can't fix anything.
I have always found that until I am open to constructive criticism, I am close minded. No matter how much I don't want to admit to what the other person is saying. If I really think about what is being said, do I have the strength to admit it to myself. Most people's motivation is not to take down the planet, there for acts of malice are rare, however they do occur, but in most occasions when someone tells me something i have to correct about myself it's out of love and not hate. The natural reaction when getting criticism is to hold resentment and remain in denial, until we can convince ourselves that the other person is Wrong. In such cases the best thing to do is ask. "If I understand what your saying, and this is what I heard you say." If the information is given to the individual correctly then nobodies feelings will be hurt. I always have to remember when giving and receiving constructive feedback, it's important that it's in an appropriate situation. If there are 10 people around and I decide to tell someone what I think there doing wrong, it's probably not the best idea. However I can always talk to that person privately and tell them what I was thinking. Not everyone will be open to feedback either, it's important to make the situation, either about your feelings and how you where hurt or about the other person's behaviours, NOT THE OTHER PERSON AS AN INDIVIDUAL. When you present things in a way that doesn't attack someone as a person it's a lot easier to hear then if someone say "You have such bad anger problem, every little thing that happens you get angry about." If I simply took that and made it about myself. "I feel threatened, when you show your anger and threaten me, as a result I would appreciate you letting me know when your starting become angry so we can focus on a solution to that behaviour rather then continue on our current conversation."
Make sure you stay open to peoples ideas. Most people are not out to harm you but help you. Don't lie to yourself. check your motives for giving feedback. Love all ideas, you never know when your going to hear the next one that changes your life.

The New Year Is Coming

Christmas, what a time of year, I recently received a message telling me that this month is pay it forward month. A time of year to do something nice for a complete stranger. I am going to try to do my best to remember to pay it forward, as my life has been full of people who have taken a chance on me.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and about how I came to such a conclusion about my addiction and my recovery. If it wasn't for the people who have been there for me, I don't know where I would be today. I think of every day how grateful I am that people put trust in me to allow me to help them with their problems. I had a talk with someone this morning about how, the more I think I know, the less I actually know, which means to me that if I don't allow myself to be open minded or allow myself to hear what people have to say, then I will be shutting myself off to information that could potentially be a huge part of my life. Every day I have to remind myself what a gift it is to be alive, and how I would rather live life with the regrets of things I have done, then things that I haven't.
I thought about regrets the other day, and how i don't have any, how when I feel that emotion, its a new opportunity for me to change or learn something. I find that if I am feeling regret then I probably did something that I am not to proud of, and instead of beating myself up over it, give myself a new opportunity to learn something. If I lie, then correct my lie and admit the truth, I guarantee more people would trust a new honesty then something they find out later to be a lie. If I act out of malice and anger, admit my motivation and no matter what the fear is behind the motivation, learn that its much easier to communicate then to hold resentment. Sometimes understanding my own motivation is tough, understanding why I do things and what is my true intent in putting in my feedback. I find that sometimes its better for me not to say anything at all then put in my two cents. I was given two ears and one mouth because I am supposed to listen twice as much as I'm supposed to speak. knowledge is power, and I don't believe that there isn't one person on this planet who couldn't teach me something. I am no better or worse then anyone. There is nobody out there who is any better then me. I am me and have a great understanding for what I would like to accomplish.
I received new business cards the other day and it was such a great gift for I have only ever had one before, and thought how beautiful is it that I can be given such a small thing and be so grateful to see something with my name on it.
I'm still on a path where I feel I can make tons of improvement, but am also extremely happy with how far I have come.
Wake up every day and feel your bed, think about how much you have to be grateful for, and pay it forward to someone who could use a hand.