Even if I don't agree with someones perspective or ideas I am always stronger with more knowledge. If I know something about a certain subject and so does someone else, then together we are smarter. If two people are hung up on arguing with each other, what gets solved?? So it's easier to work towards a solution then focusing on the problem. If I have two people in my life who approach me and say this person didn't hold his weight on the job site, and the other person approaches me and says the same thing only about the other person. Then I have two sides to a story to which there is actually three sides. There is what person one said, what person two said, and then the truth. So whose opinion is valid?? both parties involved have an equal weight and opinion. However if I sat and focused on the problem all I would get is he said and he said. Instead focus on what can we do in the future to resolve our problem. Until I start listening and keeping my mind open to people, I can't better myself. Until I know that there's a problem I can't fix anything.
I have always found that until I am open to constructive criticism, I am close minded. No matter how much I don't want to admit to what the other person is saying. If I really think about what is being said, do I have the strength to admit it to myself. Most people's motivation is not to take down the planet, there for acts of malice are rare, however they do occur, but in most occasions when someone tells me something i have to correct about myself it's out of love and not hate. The natural reaction when getting criticism is to hold resentment and remain in denial, until we can convince ourselves that the other person is Wrong. In such cases the best thing to do is ask. "If I understand what your saying, and this is what I heard you say." If the information is given to the individual correctly then nobodies feelings will be hurt. I always have to remember when giving and receiving constructive feedback, it's important that it's in an appropriate situation. If there are 10 people around and I decide to tell someone what I think there doing wrong, it's probably not the best idea. However I can always talk to that person privately and tell them what I was thinking. Not everyone will be open to feedback either, it's important to make the situation, either about your feelings and how you where hurt or about the other person's behaviours, NOT THE OTHER PERSON AS AN INDIVIDUAL. When you present things in a way that doesn't attack someone as a person it's a lot easier to hear then if someone say "You have such bad anger problem, every little thing that happens you get angry about." If I simply took that and made it about myself. "I feel threatened, when you show your anger and threaten me, as a result I would appreciate you letting me know when your starting become angry so we can focus on a solution to that behaviour rather then continue on our current conversation."
Make sure you stay open to peoples ideas. Most people are not out to harm you but help you. Don't lie to yourself. check your motives for giving feedback. Love all ideas, you never know when your going to hear the next one that changes your life.
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