Christmas, what a time of year, I recently received a message telling me that this month is pay it forward month. A time of year to do something nice for a complete stranger. I am going to try to do my best to remember to pay it forward, as my life has been full of people who have taken a chance on me.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and about how I came to such a conclusion about my addiction and my recovery. If it wasn't for the people who have been there for me, I don't know where I would be today. I think of every day how grateful I am that people put trust in me to allow me to help them with their problems. I had a talk with someone this morning about how, the more I think I know, the less I actually know, which means to me that if I don't allow myself to be open minded or allow myself to hear what people have to say, then I will be shutting myself off to information that could potentially be a huge part of my life. Every day I have to remind myself what a gift it is to be alive, and how I would rather live life with the regrets of things I have done, then things that I haven't.
I thought about regrets the other day, and how i don't have any, how when I feel that emotion, its a new opportunity for me to change or learn something. I find that if I am feeling regret then I probably did something that I am not to proud of, and instead of beating myself up over it, give myself a new opportunity to learn something. If I lie, then correct my lie and admit the truth, I guarantee more people would trust a new honesty then something they find out later to be a lie. If I act out of malice and anger, admit my motivation and no matter what the fear is behind the motivation, learn that its much easier to communicate then to hold resentment. Sometimes understanding my own motivation is tough, understanding why I do things and what is my true intent in putting in my feedback. I find that sometimes its better for me not to say anything at all then put in my two cents. I was given two ears and one mouth because I am supposed to listen twice as much as I'm supposed to speak. knowledge is power, and I don't believe that there isn't one person on this planet who couldn't teach me something. I am no better or worse then anyone. There is nobody out there who is any better then me. I am me and have a great understanding for what I would like to accomplish.
I received new business cards the other day and it was such a great gift for I have only ever had one before, and thought how beautiful is it that I can be given such a small thing and be so grateful to see something with my name on it.
I'm still on a path where I feel I can make tons of improvement, but am also extremely happy with how far I have come.
Wake up every day and feel your bed, think about how much you have to be grateful for, and pay it forward to someone who could use a hand.
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