Live For Today

Work with me and help yourself rebuild a life destine for success. Life doesn't have to be a drug haze or a drunk coma. I have come from the bottom and now manage 43 people through and addiction program and would like to get to know anyone who needs a hand. As a new customer you will have an opportunity to come to meetings and talk to me one on one. Get you life back on track. billybirse@hotmail.com send me any questions and put me to the test.

Looking For Help??

If you or someone you know is looking for help in Canada. Then Look no further, I offer a soberiety coaching service that is right for you. 587-888-9844, the cost is $13,000 a month with a two month minimum training program. My personal advice is that each client book for at least 3 months. You can read some of my blogs and call to book a phone interview. If you think its worth changing everything about yourself. Let me know.

Watching Out For Me

Sometimes, in my position it's difficult not to take other people inventory, my job requires me to help clients maintain more healthy lifestyles. I sometimes find myself comparing my situation to others, and at times it can be difficult to remember where exactly I came from, and how I have changed. Its inevitable as an addict I will have using thoughts and dreams, however I have to stay strong in my decision to stay recovered.
Decisions are everything in life, as soon as I put my mind to something and decide that's what I want to do, my physical body has no other choice but to follow my mind. I WILL NOT do anything that I decide I don't want to do, and in the same respect can achieve anything that I put my mind to. I was afraid for a long time about relapse. That I would all the sudden find myself buying drugs or taking a drink. I know however that until I convince myself that I want to do it, nothing will happen. I believe that life is not about trying to be the best person, but about making mistakes so that when we raise our kids, they don't have to, if they don't want to. My life has been full of mistakes and learning experience's, all of which where my decision and all of which I don't regret. I love the fact that I can wake up on a daily basis and assist people in making the right decisions. I know that I used to blame people and try to make up excuses for my anger and drug and alcohol use, however the reason why I couldn't recover is that I wasn't willing to understand where the problem was coming from. No matter what I do, say, feel or how I act I responsible for myself. Nobody on this planet can control me, to the best of my knowledge anyway. I like to ask "what" questions as opposed to "why" questions. It helps people understand there part in every situation.
If I ask "Jim why where you late for class"
Jim replies "My alarm clock didn't go off"
Then I ask myself, where does the blame go in that situation? To the alarm clock?
What if I ask "Jim what where you thinking when you showed up late for class"
What choice is there but to answer with some cognitive error.
I know that in every situation regardless of what it is, I am hesitant to see my side if I am approached about it in a manner that draws my ego to the table, especially in front of people who I am not as comfortable with. I also know that in every situation there is no right and no wrong. If I judge something as right or wrong rather then just the way it is, I already bring my own bias in. I must look at things as just the way they are, to avoid thinking like I would have done it differently, therefor my comparison of myself to other peoples actions does not impair my judgement. I look at the world as an ever changing and magnificent learning experience, and when we die, our souls are carried on to a place indescribable by any ones imagination. So everything regardless of who or what happens, is not right or wrong, just the way things are, and there is no telling how I would act in any given situation until I am faced with the actual situation myself.

Two Heads Are Better Then One

Even if I don't agree with someones perspective or ideas I am always stronger with more knowledge. If I know something about a certain subject and so does someone else, then together we are smarter. If two people are hung up on arguing with each other, what gets solved?? So it's easier to work towards a solution then focusing on the problem. If I have two people in my life who approach me and say this person didn't hold his weight on the job site, and the other person approaches me and says the same thing only about the other person. Then I have two sides to a story to which there is actually three sides. There is what person one said, what person two said, and then the truth. So whose opinion is valid?? both parties involved have an equal weight and opinion. However if I sat and focused on the problem all I would get is he said and he said. Instead focus on what can we do in the future to resolve our problem. Until I start listening and keeping my mind open to people, I can't better myself. Until I know that there's a problem I can't fix anything.
I have always found that until I am open to constructive criticism, I am close minded. No matter how much I don't want to admit to what the other person is saying. If I really think about what is being said, do I have the strength to admit it to myself. Most people's motivation is not to take down the planet, there for acts of malice are rare, however they do occur, but in most occasions when someone tells me something i have to correct about myself it's out of love and not hate. The natural reaction when getting criticism is to hold resentment and remain in denial, until we can convince ourselves that the other person is Wrong. In such cases the best thing to do is ask. "If I understand what your saying, and this is what I heard you say." If the information is given to the individual correctly then nobodies feelings will be hurt. I always have to remember when giving and receiving constructive feedback, it's important that it's in an appropriate situation. If there are 10 people around and I decide to tell someone what I think there doing wrong, it's probably not the best idea. However I can always talk to that person privately and tell them what I was thinking. Not everyone will be open to feedback either, it's important to make the situation, either about your feelings and how you where hurt or about the other person's behaviours, NOT THE OTHER PERSON AS AN INDIVIDUAL. When you present things in a way that doesn't attack someone as a person it's a lot easier to hear then if someone say "You have such bad anger problem, every little thing that happens you get angry about." If I simply took that and made it about myself. "I feel threatened, when you show your anger and threaten me, as a result I would appreciate you letting me know when your starting become angry so we can focus on a solution to that behaviour rather then continue on our current conversation."
Make sure you stay open to peoples ideas. Most people are not out to harm you but help you. Don't lie to yourself. check your motives for giving feedback. Love all ideas, you never know when your going to hear the next one that changes your life.

The New Year Is Coming

Christmas, what a time of year, I recently received a message telling me that this month is pay it forward month. A time of year to do something nice for a complete stranger. I am going to try to do my best to remember to pay it forward, as my life has been full of people who have taken a chance on me.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life and about how I came to such a conclusion about my addiction and my recovery. If it wasn't for the people who have been there for me, I don't know where I would be today. I think of every day how grateful I am that people put trust in me to allow me to help them with their problems. I had a talk with someone this morning about how, the more I think I know, the less I actually know, which means to me that if I don't allow myself to be open minded or allow myself to hear what people have to say, then I will be shutting myself off to information that could potentially be a huge part of my life. Every day I have to remind myself what a gift it is to be alive, and how I would rather live life with the regrets of things I have done, then things that I haven't.
I thought about regrets the other day, and how i don't have any, how when I feel that emotion, its a new opportunity for me to change or learn something. I find that if I am feeling regret then I probably did something that I am not to proud of, and instead of beating myself up over it, give myself a new opportunity to learn something. If I lie, then correct my lie and admit the truth, I guarantee more people would trust a new honesty then something they find out later to be a lie. If I act out of malice and anger, admit my motivation and no matter what the fear is behind the motivation, learn that its much easier to communicate then to hold resentment. Sometimes understanding my own motivation is tough, understanding why I do things and what is my true intent in putting in my feedback. I find that sometimes its better for me not to say anything at all then put in my two cents. I was given two ears and one mouth because I am supposed to listen twice as much as I'm supposed to speak. knowledge is power, and I don't believe that there isn't one person on this planet who couldn't teach me something. I am no better or worse then anyone. There is nobody out there who is any better then me. I am me and have a great understanding for what I would like to accomplish.
I received new business cards the other day and it was such a great gift for I have only ever had one before, and thought how beautiful is it that I can be given such a small thing and be so grateful to see something with my name on it.
I'm still on a path where I feel I can make tons of improvement, but am also extremely happy with how far I have come.
Wake up every day and feel your bed, think about how much you have to be grateful for, and pay it forward to someone who could use a hand.

Happiness, Anger, A General Outlook On Life

If I am angry at someone, If I am Happy, If I feel embarrassed, If I treat people I don't see eye to eye with different then those I see eye to eye with. If I feel superior or better then someone, If I treat someone with disrespect, If I choose to become prideful. Why do I react?? Who do I put the blame on??
The way I feel and act, are directly a result of what I have been taught in the days, all the days before this. If I disagree with someone, It's not because I don't like that individual, Its because my morals, value's and beliefs are different from that persons. If I don't understand something, I should ask and if I think I don't like someone it's most likely that I don't agree with a behaviour that person displays. Stress for me is the difference between the way things are and the way that I want them to be, (power and control)
People are funny beings, we are what we know. If I was taught to frown when I was happy, I would. If I has taught to blow myself up in the name of religion I would. People no matter how I want them to act are going to be who and how they are taught to be. I have no control over people places and things. In order to reduce stress in my life, I have to change my image of how I want the world to work, to how it actually works.
I think the most important learning lesson for me is, I know that I feel the way that I want to because I choose to feel that way. If I am mad at someone because I am embarrassed, first of all my anger is a result of not being comfortable with myself as a person. I know that embarrassment is a result of shame, its easier for me to become angry because I have been taught that as a male its okay to become angry and its not okay to show emotion and cry. However to approach that person who embarrassed me and say, "I would appreciate it if you did not talk about that" would be much easier then remaining angry at that person and holding on to a resentment. If I am mad at someone and they don't know, then it's my problem, If someone is angry at me and I don't know, Its their problem. If I live and act in a way where I never intentionally hurt anyone, then I know I am exactly who I want and exactly where I want to be.
To be self-satisfied and have a good self-esteem is crucial to effective assertive communication. I know for myself personally it took me a long time to get out of lying cheating and stealing to help my addiction. I had to change everything I thought about myself and everything I thought I knew about the world. I felt for a long time that the world revolved around Billy. I thought that without my vast amount of knowledge and good looks, the world wouldn't function properly. Realizing that I am just one more person in a world full of people with different values and beliefs is a humbling experience to say the least. So why am I here?? To do the best with what I have for today and be good with me as a person.
Next time you look at someone with judgement, or feel like someone is not on the same level so to speak, think about what that person knows, what they have been taught. Why is that person the way they are? Not because they dropped out of the sky, but because they have been taught that what they are doing is right, and one of the biggest things I can do to help myself is be open to hearing different opinions and be opening to changing for the better. So that one day I can have kids and they can be the best they can be because of what I know. Hold no judgement and receive no judgement. Share love and receive love. Be kind and accept kindness. Know that people are all different and deserve the same things that each and every person on the planet deserve. Respect to be who they are.

Things I'm Grateful For

Family, Smiling, Bed, Supports, Strangers, New Idea's, Walking, Running, Dancing, Discovered Moments, Memories, Travel, Life, Love, Guilt, Regret, Sadness, Remorse, Happiness, Food, Color, Sight, Snow, Warm Cars, Cars, Freedom, Speech, Cognitive Response, Lightning, Thunder, Rain, Mountains, Snowboarding, Jazz, Piano, Music, Responsibility, Candles, Cuddling, Long Night's, Early Mornings, Sunrises, Change, Values, Beliefs, Christmas, Fire's, Dogs... Days
Every day is a gift and a miracle, thanks for being a part of my life